Missing you.

The only thing wrong with a wonderful Christmas is the after Christmas letdown. John is back at work and everyone in the house is feeling it, even the dog. Katie mopes around wishing the nice owner was home not the mean one...but forget about Katie, I'm pretty sure the kids feel the same way. Brock spent a full two hours looking for him yesterday, anytime I say no to Karina I always get the same response, "I miss daddy". I got on McKenna's case today and she didn't say anything, she just gave me that look that says, you go to work and send daddy home. Well...I can't really blame them, I miss him too.

Christmas night

I think our Christmas night was the best part of Christmas for me this year. I made my first turkey dinner and let me tell ya, there is definitely room for improvement on that one. But it was fun anyway. Sometimes I just feel like I am pretending to be a mom and dad making Christmas for my kids, like I'm playing house or something but it's real and as wonderful as I always imagined it being.

We are trying really hard to teach our children the true meaning of Christmas. We acted out the Nativity this year. McKenna was the angel, Karina was Mary and Brock was Joseph.

After we did the Nativity McKenna read a childrens Christmas book about the nativity, Karina must have thought that was really cool because she pretended to read it to us when McKenna was done.

This is a Birthday cake we made for the biggest birthday of the year. I admit I thought the idea was a little cheesy at first but kids take birthday cake very seriously and I thought it might help them remember in a more literal hands on way what we are actually celebrating.

These are a few of our favorite things...

Ever since I was a kid we have made Christmas treats and taken them to family, friends and neighbors. I don't know if I'm just getting old or what but it was a lot of work this year. Next year I am only making one batch of cookies this may result in us handing out only two cookies per family.

John and Karina went to the store for some last minute shopping and McKenna and I had some one on one cookie time.

I truly think that John's favorite Christmas tradition is munchies. It's becoming one of mine too.

This is a little off the subject. This is John on the phone with his family on Christmas. We were both missing family this Christmas. Thank you for the cards, phone calls and packages...I am even thankful for the naughty gum ball machine...my jaw is a little tired from all the chewing though...no one can resist a good gumball.

McKenna has a lot of favorite things this year.

Mckenna and Karina's favorite things change every five minutes.

Brock's favorite things are all the shiny, rugged, manly, facial hair, boy toys he got this year.

This is Katie

No, your eyes do not deceive you, we got a dog. Her name is Katie. People that know me well may be shocked at this recent lapse in judgement, there are many things that can be to blame for this...first she is just cute and sweet most of the time.

Second John and I have known for a long time that our kids would love a dog and eventually we would take the plunge. It almost felt like we were deciding to have another baby because we consider something like a dog a part of the family and a real commitment. There is one main difference between deciding to have a baby and deciding to get a dog...well, actually two the first is I don't have to be pregnant to have a dog. Second we never consciously decided to get pregnant with any of our kids, we just got pregnant and I prefer it that way. I'm way too chicken to make the actual commitment to have another baby, they just come and what a blessing they are. We had to consciously decide to get Katie knowing before hand that it would be a lot of work and we would regret it more than once. So far we haven't regretted it more than 3 times a day.

John is the one that named Katie, he always liked the name and it suits her really well.

Here is what threw us over the edge. The nursery leaders brought their cute little puppy to nursery one week and Karina and Brock went crazy for it. Karina begged the nursery leaders to take the puppy home. "Can I take her home please...please...please...please...maybe you haven't been around Karina when she does that but it just melts your heart. She has gotten a lot of leverage out of that. We kind of knew Karina would love it the most. She follows Katie around everywhere, playing with her and teasing her. Brock has entered a new liberating phase of his childhood, Karina has someone else to tease and Brock gets to play in peace.

This is the kids saying a bitter goodbye to Katie before church on Sunday. McKenna was especially concerned for Katie's safety and offered several times to stay home and care for her.

Here is a new picture of our four kids...as if it wasn't hard enough to get them all in front of the camera before, this is about as good as it gets, I love my kids, they are beautiful and wonderful. This picture puts a big smile on my face.

You can't fool me Santa.

Every year by the end of the season McKenna has sat on 2 or 3 Santa's laps. This can get a little confusing for a child but not for McKenna, she has it all figured out. We were in the mall and I saw her staring at a near by Santa when she explained that the Santa at the ward party wasn't the real Santa because he had on tennis shoes and the real Santa only wears boots, so the Santa in the mall was the real Santa because he had on boots. Last night we went to another Christmas party with yet another Santa. McKenna later told me that the Santa at the Christmas party was also the real Santa, I asked her how she could tell. She told me if Santa's beard is too new it wasn't the real Santa, if it was old then it was. This Santa had an old beard. Can you tell the real Santa? McKenna has given you some great clues.

"I'm not a lion, I'm a butterfly."

Karina: Can I have a piece of candy?
Me: Yes, but don't show the other kids.
Karina runs in the bedroom to show McKenna what she has. McKenna comes looking for a piece of candy too.
Me: Did yous show McKenna your candy?
Karina: No.
McKenna: Yes she did, she's lying!
Karina: I'm not lion, I'm a butterfly.

ALMOST...

Have you ever had one of those nights where you ALMOST do a lot of things and ended up not really doing anything. That was our night, this could get long so brace yourself. The original plan was to get something to eat and take McKenna to a birthday party at a family fun place and just pay for admition for Karina and Brock. That’s ALMOST what happened.

We ALMOST had the time to eat at a nicer restaurant but I took too long getting ready.

Karina and Brock ALMOST got to play at the family fun center but it only hosted parties.

We ALMOST went to a different family fun place but it closed in 25 minutes.

The kids ALMOST got to play on the playground at the mall but when we got there it was way too packed.

So, I went to JC Penny where I ALMOST bought a pair of pants.

Karina ALMOST got to ride the train at the mall but we didn’t have any cash. She settled with 4 rides up and down the escalator.

We ALMOST made it out of the mall without any tantrums.

We had a few extra minutes so we drove around to Redbox’s where we ALMOST found the movie we wanted.

We went to pick up McKenna after two long hours of ALMOST’s, stopped at one final Redbox and VICTORIOUS…we found the movie we wanted…the night wasn’t a flop after all!

Update...this post was about last night, today we went back to the mall, Karina got to ride the train and I got a pair of pants.

You can't prove anything!

So if your wondering what that film on my dishes is, I was wondering the same thing all day yesterday, my dishes just came out of the dishwasher looking this way and let me tell ya, it is stuck on. I had a sneaking suspician that Brock had probably thrown something in the dishwasher when I was loading it and I WAS RIGHT! The little turkey threw a small candle in there and it melted all over my dishes. Now I get the joy of scrubbing them by hand along with all the usual piles of dishes I have to do.

He even looks guilty!

I love the holidays, there are so many excuses to get together with friends and have some fun, usually that fun involves treats. We made Graham cracker houses, this activity is becoming a Christmas favorite in our house. We had a lot of leftover stuff so I took some for my Sunbeam class to make on Sunday. After two rounds of gram cracker houses, I'm not joking, my pants don't fit the same. I had pretty good self control the first round but on Sunday, I was going on my third hour of Church and all I had for breakfast was a piece of toast, It's not like t he my little 4 year old class was going to judge me for eating too many crackers coated with frosting and m&ms...oh, it was good.

cuddling with John

You may not be able to tell from the picture above but this is John and I cuddling in bed. It only takes about 15 seconds for Brock to find us...we can't say no to Brock so we pull him up, next comes Karina, we've already said yes to Brock so we can't say no to Karina, then comes McKenna, our bed is only queen size, not Sam's Club bulk size so at this point John gets kicked out or I sneak out and leave John with all the kids. Isn't this the picture of relaxation.

So much to do...so little time.

My day is so busy...today I threw a fashion show after dressing myself in this ridiculously good looking outfit.

Next I taught Brock how to do the Magnum look for the camera...he's a fast learner.

Then mommy tied me up and I spent the next 15 minutes escaping. Mommy really loves this game, I don't know why.

This one took quit a bit of time...I colored myself from head to toe. I call it live art. Sometimes, when I have the time I make Brocky a live piece of art too.

Then, right before dinner I doze off for a quick nap so I will be nice and energized for bedtime.

Menieres

I admit for the most part I only put the happy things on my blog and even though I do this I'm sure that no one assumes our life is all roses. I recently was diagnosed with Menieres disease. What is it? No one actually knows, you get diagnosed with the disease as a process of elimination and the presentation of certain symptoms. Here is what I am dealing with; loud ringing in my left ear, severe hearing loss in my left ear, at times severe dizziness and nausea but an underlying feeling of continual dizziness, foggy head, terrible memory. It eventually leads to severe hearing loss or complete hearing loss in one or both ears. Sadly, in my case I think it will be both, I already feel the effects in my right ear. There is no cure and no cure in sight. So there ya have it. I'm going deaf. Right now I'm facing a lot of unknowns like how long will my hearing last. I pay closer attention now to what I can hear and what I can't. It seems like on an almost weekly bases I stop being able to hear something I heard only a few short weeks ago. It seems like the trials that are the hardest are the ones with no end in sight. This isn't a terrible virus that will come and go, it will change my life and how I live it. Here are a few sad realizations I have come to, sorry if there depressing: I am peaking at complete health right now, even if my body gets healthier over the years I will never enjoy complete health and hearing at the same time. I will have to wear hearing aids, not now but as this runs its coarse I'm sure it will become necessary. I could go stone deaf and I have no idea how that would change my life, John's life, the kids life. I know a few courageous women who when they are faced this things like this they work, study, pray, fight, and advocate, honestly it all sounds exhausting. I guess in the coming years I will find out what kind of fighter I am. I am not naive enough to think that if I set my mind to it I can stop it. Some things we are meant to live with and learn from. Right now I am just trying to cherish the voices of my children and my favorite music.

Christmas traditions

Every year since McKenna was two we paint Christmas tree ornaments.

This was Brock's first year painting or should I say markering...we're not that crazy. He was very insistent that he participate.
Unfortunately we didn't get started until bed time so his enthusiasm only lasted so long. We bought more time with a candy cane. His ornament was 3 little peppermints hooked together and by the time he was done his peppermint ornament smelled and tasted as good as it looked.

I was surprised by Karina, she usually my wild, carefree child but she took the whole thing very seriously and did a very good job painting her angel.

McKenna did a really good job too, she loves crafting.

The first time we painted ornament I had to talk John into it but as you can see he is just as entertained as the kids.

I enjoyed it a little bit too.